I look for it. beauty. I look for it
every most days. But sometimes, like this morning when I felt too weak to look for it, it found me, when I needed it the most. On a day I found myself too in my head, questioning everything, over thinking, thinking, thinking. We all have those kind of days. But God is good. He knew exactly how I needed to work it out. I walked out into the morning sunlight and before I knew it I found myself snapping fallen tree limbs, into smaller pieces and tossing them into the fire pit. Raking, digging up and transplanting day lilies and getting dirt under my nails, working in the garden or doing yard work is the perfect therapy! Just what I needed to move forward. After a bit of digging in the dirt I unearthed an old treasure left by my boys, when they were little…it’s at least 15 years old. Beautiful memories unearthed.
LATER THAT DAY…………
Beauty found me in the studio, while stripping paint off the glass palette. Isn’t that the most beautiful paint chip colors ever? Ha, I might start photographing all of the these. Beauty is in the smallest of things, today and everyday.
Last week I spent time enjoying my mother in law’s company, an artist herself we spent a good bit of time painting and challenging each other to step out from our comfort zones and explore a new medium or new subject. It was exactly what we both needed. I painted cowboy boots for the first time (I will share that later) and Maggie painted with acrylics, she normally paints with oils.
It’s been a long time since I did any journaling, either in my ‘diary’ , blog or in my art journal. It seemed like a good way to begin the morning, along with a cup of hot jasmine tea. I have had questions for days, bubbling inside…what’s next? Something kept tugging at my heart to paint more!
Underlying questions can become such pestering feelings if left for too long without an answer.
I began my art journal pages years ago by just painting over old catalog magazines, the kind that had thick enough paper to hold up to Gesso, acrylics, glue and paper. At the time I couldn’t invest in moleskin journals, I just had to make do. After all these years I still choose to journal this way because text/words on the pages show through, when I need them the most like special messages from God.
This morning I sat down with paints and journal book, with the intention to just paint what I was feeling. I chose only a few colors, whatever called to me at the time and began. This isn’t about perfection and making everything look lovely. This is about exploring feelings. What colors called to me were black, grey, white and pink. I noticed after painting her face she was looking at something on the other page. She was looking for something, an answer perhaps. I was searching for something, it was obvious, but what?
I chose to take the painting, scan it and continue to add digital elements. I layered in an older pencil sketch of flowers that had been calling to me, something I sketched months before. It’s so important to remember nothing is ever wasted. It all comes back around, somehow or another for your benefit.
Once I added the flower pencil sketch on the opposite side, it was clear she was looking at flowers. Adding it to the right side as well caused me to realize, that she was looking for something she already possessed within.
Thinking back to how perfect the Fall season was here in NC. I don’t ever remember a more vibrant Autumn season. My mother came for a visit and we took several days to just explore the beautiful mountain colors, around every bend were new opportunities to take photos, giggle and explore together. I have treasured every moment with her.
This is the Blue Ridge mountains. Even though I’m six hundred miles from family (for close to 20 years now), I can’t imagine calling anywhere else home. I make time daily to get out in nature, even if it’s raining. Which is exactly what it’s been doing for the last week or so. Winter here has been strange, so warm. No snow yet, not even close.
I always drag a piece of the outdoors back inside with me, there are pine cones, leaves of every species of tree, a few acorns, river rock, driftwood, mica and sometimes moss. The colors become the palette of inspiration, this never grows old or mundane. All I ever need to do is look closer, deep into the details of a leaf or the hat of an acorn and I’m entranced all over again by the beauty and all that God has created.
I wait all year for the blooms. Not to make Kudzu jelly, like most but to take a closer look.